A Beginning Blogger’s Story
The day my mother was cremated, I bought this blog site. I had no idea how I would use it, what I would do with it, and whether it was for me or for public consumption. All I knew was that I needed to do it. In the weeks leading up to her death, I was so consumed with witnessing my mom’s final days that my usually analytical mind was preoccupied. My creative mind was able to get a foot in the door and stories and poems started to flow. I dictated them as I drove to work. I jotted them down on random sticky notes on my desk. I wrote them down in any of my many notebooks. It seemed there was no limit to what was on my mind and how I wanted to say it. And for once, there was little to no self judgement. And so, what lies within are thoughts, feelings, half baked ideas, musings, challenges to what I thought I believed and generally writing out loud to organize, clarify and question the goings-on in my head. If it resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. If not, I hope it starts you on your own journey of writing out loud.
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- The Tri
My first triathlon ever, and as day breaks, I’m both nervous and excited. I lay out my equipment for each stage of the course, Shorts and shirt, bike and helmet, […] - The Universe Already Got There
Listening to a podcast* today, I heard the notion that there is nothing we can imagine, create, or experience that the Universe hasn’t already imagined, created or experienced. Poet Sarah […] - Her Last Day
I can tell right away that things have changed, Something is different about her, Hazel eyes locked on the ceiling, She doesn’t even sense me, Shallow comes her breathing, Her […] - Anger
Surrender to your anger now, Bring it out and into the light, There’s no need to feel shame or fright, Your body knows exactly how To feel its force and […] - False Self Becomes True
stress, anxiety, hypervigilance, surviving, people pleasing closed, critical, skeptical, fearful, intimidated holding tight, being strong, sarcastic false bravado, stiff upper lip fake, snarky, poser false self true self open, joyful, […] - Belonging
There is this thing that happens When I’m working with another teacher. The excitement builds, Our enthusiasm bursts forth, And the students delight. Infectious! We banter, add on, feed each […] - Blush
One of my least appreciated natural tendencies growing up was my facial flush. Whenever I was called on, called out, or put in the spotlight, my face would turn bright […] - March Embodiment
My word of the year is EMBODIMENT and each month I try to let the word soak deeper into my being through reading, listening, and seeing where and how it […] - Patterns
The regularity and repetition Of mustard and avocado colored squares adorning our kitchen wallpaper, Thin paper pinned to fabric for Mom to sew our matching mother daughter outfits, Rings hidden […] - Make Your Mess Your Message
That quote comes thirdhand from a podcaster* sharing the premise for another podcaster’s work. I heard it tonight while working out and it matched another quote from a previous podcaster […] - Like It Was Yesterday
We sat across from each other, my old friend and I, the wrinkles and gray hair fading away. All I could see was her bright smile, permed mullet and twinkling […] - Anxiety
A reaction To Conflict and Fear, To a lack of Control, To Problems we can’t solve. We Worry as though our knotted bellies Can change the Outcome. It is all […] - The Grandeur That Makes Us Insignificant
Today I read an excerpt of William Shatner’s memoir, Boldly Go in (gulp!) AARP magazine. In it, he wrote about how he thought his travel into space would be “the […] - Travel Lessons from the Dog Park
My dear friend and I took our two canines apiece to a dog park on several acres of land. Watching them enjoy the setting made me think of the lessons […] - Swan, A Found Poem
After reading “The White Flakes,” a Found Poem from Schindler’s List in which the author recasts a text as a poem, deleting words while keeping the important nouns and verbs […] - Strength
I’ve been marinating two opposing thoughts recently. A friend said that she considers her difficult experiences in life blessings because they have made her who she is and given her […] - My Higher Power
In childhood, my belief in God was shaped by my parents and my church community. I attended Sunday School, listened to sermons, heard Bible stories. My understanding of faith was […] - Cat Got Your Tongue?
I am randomly opening to pages of Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and reading a few entries at a time. Tonight’s made me laugh out loud […] - My Birth Day
My birthday was last week, and over dinner a friend asked, “How was your first birthday without your mother?” So unexpected was the question; tears immediately filled my eyes. It […] - Rebellion
I read this quote recently: “Rebellion is when you look society in the face and say, “I understand who you want me to be, but instead I will show you […] - Perspective
Step back and see how The perspective changes views Of what matters most Photo: Shenandoah National Park, 7.3.20. by JMR - Powerless and Powerful
Powerless over The events of my past, What lies ahead for me, The news and the weather, What other people think of me, Their actions, choices and behavior. The content […] - My First
My oldest daughter is turning 25 this month. To celebrate our February birthdays, she invited me to a Dessert Tasting at a restaurant in downtown DC, where she lives. The […] - Decisions and Mistakes
I’ve dreaded making decisions my whole life. I’ve always considered myself indecisive. The problem with making decisions was my fear of making a mistake. I was afraid of buyer’s remorse […] - Intuition
Hearing that voice within my mind, “Look within, you know you can trust, No one knows you better, you must Nurture that feeling and remind, Your answer is here, you […] - Timed Writings
I like to do a writing exercise with my students where I give them a prompt and an allotted amount of time to write. No editing, no revising. Just power […] - Teaching is My Super Power
Eight years ago, I ran in a Superhero themed 5K with my daughters. I bought a Superman t-shirt at Walmart and my oldest daughter’s friend used puffy paint to make […] - Re: Inspiration
This is a photo of the wall above the headboard in my bedroom. I look at it every single day and it brings me comfort, joy, and inspiration. The impetus […] - The Gift of Writing
She beamed at me when I walked into the room. “This is so exciting!” she proclaimed, and throwing her blankets back, she continued, “We have much to do to get […] - 6 Word Stories of Baby Bliss
My nephew is expecting his first! We gathered together to celebrate Baby! My sister hosted our whole family. We showered him and his wife. This is my brother’s second grandchild. […] - Feeling Protected
I imagine a shield that allows me to live in the world protected. A barrier that keeps the toxic out and lets the positive in. A screen that is neither […] - Hope’s TriumphFear Jelly legs, Sweaty palms, Jittery belly, Galloping heart, Shallow breaths, Rising panic. Fear whispers of my weakness, He is mindful of mistakes, He advises against action, He cautions against […]
- Saying Yes
I will say yes… ~to myself ~to self care ~to my needs ~to living fully ~to time alone ~when I want to ~when I am safe ~to expand myself ~to […] - Saying No
I will say NO… ~even when it’s hard ~when I’m tired or rundown ~when it clashes with my values ~when I’m not being considered ~when it’s not convenient for me […] - So Much Clapping
It had been a long, hot summer with little to no rain. I watered my gardens daily and got a break from mowing since the grass barely grew. It was […] - Message from My Necklace
On my 50th birthday, my best friend and college roommate gave me a simple pearl necklace. I’ve only taken it off 3 or 4 times in the almost 4 years […] - EMBODIMENT
Enlightened understanding that My body’s experiences have been negative and positive Because of traumas, comments, Observations by others, and social and cultural expectations that Don’t allow for accurate, realistic, or […] - Pain Without Suffering?
The Pain: My mom, suffering with dementia and in memory care, told me excitedly when I visited, “I have 3 children, 2 boys and a girl.” I am her fourth. […] - Validation
Validation The Siren Song Convincing, Compelling, Consuming Persistent in its Promise Of Confidence, Value, Worth Seek it, Work it, Nurse it Manipulate, Please, Control Wear the Mask of False Self […] - The “Write” Tool
Sometimes a barrier to writing is as simple as not having the right tools. I like to play by experimenting with different implements. Sometimes I like the feel of a […] - Word of the Year!
Each year I choose a word to carry me through, inspire me, challenge me, comfort me and always continue to help me grow. I started in 2018 with Alignment, which […] - A New Kind of New Year’s Eve
I’ve never been a huge fan of New Year’s Eve. I’ve often felt pressure to be doing something exciting – going out, being with people, and drinking. Almost ever year, […] - Our Hearts
While touring the Phoenix Desert Botanical Gardens yesterday, I saw this beautiful heart-shaped cactus. It made me think of the various states we might find our heart in, represented by […] - The Stockings Were Hung…
Stockings Made with love Upon each grandchild’s arrival Regardless of the month. She would run to the fabric store And comb through the patterns To find just the right scene […] - An Ornamental Christmas
One of my favorite Christmas traditions is the annual ornament giving. Each year I choose an ornament for each of my daughters that reflects something special they did, accomplished, enjoyed, […] - The Cardinal
“Look at the cardinal!” my mother would exclaim, As she had a hundred times before, And always with the same awe and delight, Washing dishes at the kitchen picture window. […] - The Bank
Today I took a challenge to write about a bank, any kind of bank, whether financial institution, ground near a river, noun, verb, and so on. Here is my take… […] - Piano Lessons
This morning, She makes music, Fingers gliding across keys, Muscle memory guiding them along. Recalling the lessons from decades earlier, Hand position, fingering, forte, pianissimo, andante, Struggling still to balance […] - Affirmations and Empowerment
I start my day, nearly every day, by reading LETTING GO, DAILY MEDITATIONS, by Melody Beattie. There is rarely a morning that her message does not resonate with me; help […] - Sometimes
Sometimes puppies scamper about, stumbling and bumbling, feet and brains not quite connected, so as to zig zag about, with no real sense of direction or purpose. Sometimes puppies miss […] - Valuing Our Needs
Step 1: Know What You Want and Need. I take time to listen to the yearnings of my heart, my passions and desires, my pain and sorrow, my preferences and […] - Tea Ritual
Measuring the mood, What lies ahead and what’s gone by, The tea is chosen. Mindful, in the moment. The vessel is next, A most perfect mug, My college, their college, […] - A Map of My Hand
My life story can be told using a map of my hand. I start with the obvious…the scars. There are the stitches I got when I was 8, on the […] - Pain
I am grateful to be sitting in my struggle this morning. After days of family and children, The house is quiet and I am alone. I’ve decorated and played with […] - A Heavy Heart
My heart is heavy today, My mind reeling, My body agitated. The world is full Of hatred, Of violence, Of discord, Of division, Of absolutes, Of strong opinions That hold […] - Manifesting Wants and Needs
We manifest what we want and need in life by preparing our minds, bodies and hearts to receive those things. We get clear on exactly what changes we want and […] - The Pursuit
We’re all entitled to the pursuit of happiness. It’s right in the Constitution! But what if the pursuit of happiness is what robs us of happiness? What if the pursuit […] - ControlThis is what I know today about control and my occasional desire to have it: It’s an illusion. I’m not that powerful. I don’t have it over others or their […]
- Getting Comfortable With Anger
For me, anger and guilt have always wound around each other like a vine to a tree. Being raised in a household where we were not allowed to express anger […] - Mindfulness
Today I was mindful. I slowed down, I was observant, Instead of operating on autopilot. I put on lipstick And realized I hadn’t done this in 2.5 years! (I wiped […] - We Can, We Will, We Do
There are things we think we will never accomplish. Loss we think we will never get over. Pain we think we will never survive. Relationships we think we will never […] - Girl On Fire
My girl. Stronger than I was at her age. Smarter than I was at her age. More confident, more self assured, more self aware, more comfortable in her own skin. […] - Letter to My Loving Parent
Dear Loving Parent, Be with me as I struggle, Embolden me when I feel fear, Embrace me when I feel unlovable, Reassure me when I feel I’m not enough, Stay […] - Lessons from an 8 year old
The little girl sat down across the table from me for her writing conference. “We have something in common,” she said, smiling at me. I couldn’t imagine what she might […] - Do you love me unconditionally?
Do I love you unconditionally? Well, that’s conditional Conditional Depends on conditions How I feel What I’m doing How your words strike me If your actions trouble me If your […] - THRIVETrust in the wandering of your Heart and mind and inhale the scent of promise. Realize what you want and need. Imagine holding space for yourself to Validate the truth […]
- The Crawdad
The crawdad has never felt this way before. Her skin is dry and tight, brittle, and she strains against it. It’s as if she’s coming undone, falling apart. Feelings of […] - The In Between
This is a place I’ve avoided most of my life! I like to be there. I set my sites on a goal or next step and move swiftly toward it. […] - Homeostasis
Recently I was working with a high school student on his homework assignment. It was all about homeostasis. We had an interesting conversation about it, he defined it in his […] - Abandonment
Betrayal- Again- She fears the abandonment she’s run from her whole life. ABANDONMENT… Being left, Being alone, Being rejected. But she wasn’t abandoned, She cannot be abandoned. It is impossible […] - The Power of Silence
At first there is no silence. There are the thoughts, Vicious in their whisperings, Violent in their clutch, Volatile in their effect, Relentless, merciless. Then there are the feelings… Regret, […] - Waiting to Exhale
Holding my breath. That’s what it’s felt like these three long weeks since my mom passed. We’d waited to hold the memorial service to coincide with her family’s scheduled visit. […] - You’re Not Asking Too Much
The other day I read this quote and had an epiphany: “You’re not asking too much, you’re just asking the wrong person.” For my whole life I’ve felt like I’m […] - Managing Expectations
September kicked off with my supervisor challenging our department to identify a word that would set the tone for our school year. Perhaps it would be a word that would […] - Vulnerability
Vulnerability is Unlearning the habit of presenting a False Self, Learning instead to accept the True Self~quirks, defects and all. Not oversharing our narrative, but choosing those who have Earned […] - A Eulogy
This Sunday, we will be memorializing my 89 year old mother in a ceremony at her church of 63 years. She and I had a complicated relationship in many ways. […]
The Journey Inward 