The Journey Inward

Love, what would you have me know today?

My Sweet, I would have you know that although your Word of the Year is embodiment, and you have cradled and nurtured it to let it grow within you, there is one important component that you haven’t considered and that is because it was hiding from you, deep in the shadows.

Lovely, you have kept your feelings about your body – and by that I don’t mean your shape or weight or condition, but rather your actual, physical body – locked away in the deep recesses of your being. It is almost as if they don’t exist, such is the denial, avoidance and shame you feel.

But that changed today during the conversation you had with Jeff on your walk. He was telling you his thoughts on a shadow part of himself that needed love and after some deep listening, you said, “That resonates with me.” And it did. I saw and felt the reverberations. And I smiled.

My dear, your physical body has experienced trauma after trauma, starting when you were way too young. You couldn’t comprehend it, couldn’t stop it, and eventually couldn’t feel it. Your shame and fear were intense, but you found them a place in the dark shadows of your mind and closed the door tightly behind you where they couldn’t interrupt your daily life. But what seeped out, leaked out here and there was a lack of trust in this body, a disgust for this body, not because of anything you did, but because of the actions of others, physically and verbally.

My Sweet, it was too much to bring out into the light and so you didn’t. But today you see that you must. Maybe not all at once, for the light would be blinding. But perhaps a little at a time. Small steps that reunite you with your body. That reintroduce you, that help you reclaim what was lost and taken from you. Invite your body back into your full being. Accept it, love it, trust it, enjoy it. It belongs to no one but you and it never did. Do not give away your power. Do not give others authority over that which is not theirs to own. Feel your mind and body coming together as one, fully embodied, fully yours.

Photo: Lake Ariel, PA. Circa 1986. By Siouxzan