The Journey Inward

Can you possibly forgive me?
                                                                       For what do you seek forgiveness?
For all the times I rolled my eyes
at you internally or behind your
back?
                                                                       Do you think you were my first teenager?
But it was so disrespectful, so 
callous and mean.
                                                                      Yes, but it was also normal and necessary.
                                                                      You needed to develop your own thoughts,
                                                                      ideas and most especially, your indepen-
                                                                      dence.  
I couldn't see you for your
magnificence.
                                                                     You were a child.  I wouldn't expect that you
                                                                     could.  I harbored the same impatience and 
                                                                     judgment toward my own father when I was
                                                                     your age.
I wish I'd stood up for you
when Mom muttered under
her breath or behind your back.
You didn't even know.
                                                                   That is too much to ask of you.  I wasn't born
                                                                   with my strength, integrity and honesty.  Life
                                                                   taught me those things.
But I turned away from you.  I
didn't bother to wait for you to
put in your hearing aids, find the
right volume and test it with you.
It was easier to just sneak on by.
                                                                  I understand that.  It wasn't an easy process
                                                                  and it required patience on both our parts.
                                                                  Maybe you don't remember, but patience was
                                                                  not one of my virtues.
I wasted so much time.  I could
have let you in as I got older.  I
could have asked you questions,
sought your advice, shared my
feelings.  
                                                                But you did.  You have to remember that I was
                                                                from a generation that had a hard time with all
                                                                of that, too.  You don't shoulder all the respon-
                                                                sibililty.
What can I do now?  You've been
gone so long and I don't know how
to access you and our relationship.
                                                               Talk to me now.  Share with me now.  Tell me the
                                                                highs and lows of your day.  Ask my advice.  I
                                                                am here.
Thank you.
                                                               Thank YOU, Leigh Annie Dannie!