The Journey Inward

I enjoy reading great literature. I also enjoy reading Costco magazine! In this month’s edition, there was an interesting article about being a trustworthy team member in the workplace, but as usual, I could see all the connections to interactions with friends, family and significant others. Professional development so often positively impacts my personal life.

The article opened by saying, “How often have you heard your boss or someone in leadership say, “I made a mistake that affects our team, and here is how I will fix it”? The article goes on to talk about how leaders need to embrace mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning in order to foster a culture of transparency and resiliency. I have had very few bosses who have owned their mistakes publicly. Currently, my administration does practice this type of vulnerability and our positive, “take a risk” culture is a result of that, in my opinion.

I like to think I model this in my classroom, my school, my community, my groups, my friendships, my children, and my family. Reflecting on the main points of the article, I found that these felt like the recipe for successful relationships. The article mentioned these four pillars of trust.

• Trust yourself. It’s got to start there. If I can’t love my True Self and believe in my integrity, good intentions, and worthiness, I will most likely put a False Self forward so others can’t see the real me. I will not come across as open, honest and transparent, because I am hiding behind a mask. I can’t be trustworthy when I don’t trust myself enough to show up as I am and I don’t trust others enough to accept me as I am.
• Fix the situation. If I behave in ways that cause others to lose trust in me, then I must show up with accountability. An apology is not enough. I need to own what I’ve done and why, and make a plan for change based on what that person needs. Sharing my plan and following through are the keys to making amends and rebuilding trust.
• Be vulnerable. It has been a long and resistant journey for me, but I have learned that if I am open about my mistakes, insecurities, and fears, it encourages others to do so, as well. That creates an environment of trust and connection.
• Self compassion. This is not an easy prescription, especially if you’ve had pain, trauma and hurt in your life or if you’ve suffered negative consequences for showing your humanness. Being kind to yourself reduces defensiveness, criticism, resentment and anger. When I can be compassionate to myself, I can listen to others with an open mind and truly hear them.

In the end, our relationships at work and home will thank us for taking the time to show up as we are and allowing others to do the same. Part of loving ourselves well is wanting more for ourselves, which includes expanding and transforming to become our own best versions. And that’s exactly the type of people I want in my life, too!