The Journey Inward

"You will always have the final say in which experiences you choose to control and consume your life."  ~Dodinsky

My friend's husband always says, "Don't allow people to take up space in your head rent free."  It always makes me smile because it's said with love and concern for me when I am trying to make sense out of something someone does or says, as if understanding it will ease my pain. 

"Let them," one of my favorite podcasts reminds me when I find myself upset by the actions of others-a slow driver in the left lane or one of my children making a choice I don't agree with.  Let them reminds me that I only have control over myself.  Getting worked up or worried doesn't solve anything and damages relationships. 

"Let it be," my therapist likes to say, reminding me to accept rather than resist the actions of others, and to accept life on life’s terms. Letting it be removes my ties to an outcome and allows me freedom and space.

This is not to say that every situation I encounter should be met with passivity.  There are causes I am passionate about, now more than ever, and showing my support through signs, letters, conversations and participation in rallies is necessary because we must speak for those who can't; we must use our positions on the ladder to pull up those on lower rungs; we must bring more diverse voices to the table.  

But when people are doing what people will do, I can take a deep breath, exhale and remind myself that how I respond is my choice.  I can be an actor rather than a reactor.  I choose my outlook.  A new friend gave me a sticker today that said, You have sunshine in your soul. I’d like to think so. 

Each day this month, I am reading and writing about an entry from gentle reminders:  SIMPLE TRUTHS FOR A MEANINGFUL LIFE by Dodinsky.  This book was given to me after my divorce by a friend, with this inscription: "Let your soul sparkle."