The Journey Inward

My Spring Break from school was unusually long this year and we didn’t lose any days to snow like we usually do. Typically, the travel bug would hit me and I’d be off somewhere. I’ve spent Spring breaks visiting my daughters in London, Bulgaria and Miami.

But this year, I needed something else. I needed to be less busy.

This school year began on such a high note, as I transitioned to a new position in my building and loved it! It was exactly what I didn’t know I needed! I liked the challenge of figuring out what my students needed to unlock the reading code. I liked being part of a team. I liked having my own classroom. And I loved the student contact. I had been working more with teachers and data over the last handful of years and it was getting tiresome. Being with different groups of kids every 30 minutes all day long filled my bucket in a big way! I loved the relationships I formed with them and the sense of contribution I felt. The vast majority of my students are multilingual learners and English is not their first language. Their mastery of reading and a new language simultaneously earns all my respect. This school year has reignited my passion for teaching.

And then our budget woes began in the late Fall. I still love my job, but weathering this deficit, witnessing 65 colleagues cut, losing my position again for next year, writing letters and speaking at Board meetings, and counseling fellow teachers as their union building representative has left me exhausted, demoralized, and losing steam. We all were feeling the burnout. We were all limping toward Spring Break.

I knew I needed rest. I needed to be home. I needed to connect with friends and family. I needed to save money for my summer vacation. I needed to reboot.

And so I hatched my plan. First, a four day tour of my brother’s four kids and three grandkids in Virginia. Alone, he and I spent time playing pickleball, making Easter baskets and talking, time I treasured. He is so quiet that each thought expressed feels like a gift. Together, we gathered with his son and his toddler, his oldest daughter and her husband and two kids, his daughter from San Diego who was visiting with her boyfriend, and his youngest daughter and her husband. Also, there were lots of dogs! (We are a family of dog lovers!) My sister was away, but we stayed at her house and I had beautiful conversations late into the night each night with my niece, her daughter. And there were more dogs!

My oldest came down from Baltimore to spend time, too and I got to drive her back on my way home and spend some time there. Her house has come together so well and her life there is so lovely.

And then the rest and peace came. It began with sleep and lots of it. I am not good at sleep. I’ve gotten better, but I still don’t get enough. This week, I stayed up late playing Scrabble with my niece, nephew and sister, plus random others. I love that time of night and can’t seem to go to bed earlier. But what I could do was sleep in! Some mornings I slept late, others I woke and fed the dogs and let them out, then went back to bed. I find I sleep better after 7 am. Deep sleep.

Then each day had its little events. Lunch, dinner, tea or a walk with a friend. Working in the yard. Errands. Washing my car. Cleaning out cabinets. Donating food. Donating clothes. Switching my seasonal closet over. Buying plants. Watching tv. Reading. Taking workout classes. Painting. Playing the piano. Writing. Observing the birds’ nests on my front and back porches. Walking in new places and spaces. Listening to live music. Buying new sneakers. Changing my lightbulbs. Mailing a book to a friend. Walking the dogs. Cleaning the porches. Filling out my census report. Finally going to Verizon to figure out the most complicated bill in the world. And also nothing. Stillness. Quiet. Peace.

I saw a long break ahead of me and the travel bug tugged at me, but I declined. I am drained by my district’s catastrophic cuts and the loss of people and programs. This country scares the hell out of me. The Pope died. Immigrants are being vilified. Our economy is tanking. The world hates us. Our leader is a bully. It’s exhausting.

I took care of me this week. So I can keep going. Keep being positive. Keep hoping. Keep contributing. Keep making a difference in small ways.

Photos: Flemington, NJ, Doylestown, PA, Alexandria, VA, Baltimore, MD, and Springfield, VA. April 18-28, 2025 by LA.