You’re Not Asking Too Much

The other day I read this quote and had an epiphany: “You’re not asking too much, you’re just asking the wrong person.” For my whole life I’ve felt like I’m not enough (another post for another day) or too much. The “too much” comes from being the youngest by far in a family of intellectuals, never feeling like I was able to keep up and hold my own. When I had immature reactions (as befitting a child), I was made to feel dramatic and over-the-top. Bratty, frivolous, high maintenance. As I grew older, this became a core belief I held about myself. I thought too much, behaved too differently, was too sensitive, too serious, too intense. Within the last year, I was beginning to let that idea go, preferring to say that it is not my job to silence or suppress my “too much,” but rather it is the responsibility of the person I’m with to let me know how my actions are in conflict with their needs. But after reading this quote, I now wonder if maybe when I feel that way, I’m just not sharing with the right person. I’m not needy, I have needs. And when I’m with a healthy, caring person, those requests will be met with respect, discourse and ultimately, responsiveness.

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