The Journey Inward

Step 1:  Know What You Want and Need.  I take time to listen to the yearnings of my heart, my passions and desires, my pain and sorrow, my preferences and interests.  I sit with feelings, spend time alone, go out in nature.  I identify what needs come from within.

Step 2:  Honor What You Want and Need.  I am not impolite, selfish or shameful for having wants and needs.  I am human.  I must value, honor and cherish that which I seek.  I am worthy and deserving of fulfillment.

Step 3:  Ask For What You Need.  Many times I can meet my own needs.  Sometimes I need something from others.  My people are not mind readers, no matter how well they know me.   They don't show love by anticipating my wants and needs and they don't find me unlovable when they don't.  When I need or want something, I have to be direct and honest in asking for it.  My close, safe relationships entitle me to communicate my needs and ask for them to be met, as well as being responsive to theirs.

Step 4:  Set a Boundary, If Necessary.  When others cannot or will not meet my needs, I need to set a boundary.  This is not to control their actions or punish them, but rather to honor my need. I will not sacrifice myself for another.  I will not make myself smaller or quieter.

Step 5:  Walk away.  When a loved one does not meet my needs or respect my boundary, it is time to re-evaluate and likely walk away.  I know that I am not asking too much, I'm just asking the wrong person.

Photo: New London, CT.  10.29.22 by LA