The Journey Inward

For the month of June, I am each day flipping through Clarity and Connection, by Yung Pueblo, and randomly stopping at a page to read. Using the entry as a prompt, I delve into my thoughts and feelings, find what resonates, and see what answers it might hold for me. It is an exercise in building my Intuition, synthesizing information, making space for creativity, and journeying inward so that I might know myself and others better. Today’s reading was on page 80.

"change is always happening,
especially within you."

Interestingly, today I quite randomly flipped to the same page as yesterday.  At first I thought to choose a new page, but in reading it again, I found these new lines that jumped out at me.  

Change.  I have a love-hate relationship with it!  I embrace routines, rituals, comfort and security, but also bore of doing the same things day in and day out.  As a teacher, I never teach my curriculum the same way twice!  I want it to be relevant and engaging to the students in front of me each year, but I need to keep it fresh for me, too, so that I can feel enthusiastic and excited about it.  

I love my children reaching new stages and phases, yet I mourn the simpler days (though they didn't always feel simple then) when they were small and our days included slow walks to examine every bug, leaf, and stick on our path.

I love gaining wisdom and losing some of my filter as I age, but I do not care for aching joints and loose skin!  

Life comes on Life's terms and those changes can be hard to accept.  They can be sad, painful, uncomfortable, scary, and daunting.  But what I fully embrace is the changes that have happened within me over the years.  I am not who I was 3 decades ago, 3 years ago, 3 days ago or even 3 hours ago.  I have taken all the experiences, people and travel I have known, combined it with all the knowledge and self awareness I have gained and know that today I am stronger, healthier, kinder, more compassionate, empathetic and authentic than ever before.  My growth is evident when I handle a situation in a way I couldn't before, when my inner critic script is not activated when I make a mistake, when I don't catastrophize in the midst of a difficult situation.  

Change is always happening, and I'm grateful for all the changes that have happened, and continue to happen, within me.