The Journey Inward

Sh!  Be quiet!  Don't say that!
How dare you?  How could you?  
Who are you to speak up?
Yours is only one way of looking at things,
And probably not the most astute.

You sense the mood,
Feel the mood,
Meet the mood,
Oppose the mood.
And so the mood owns you!

Your mind races,
But then is numb.
Point out the positive?
Commiserate?
The mercury adjusts.

What if I was quiet,
Listened, evaluated?
What if I thought,
And considered,
And weighed,
Then spoke up if ready?
Spoke my mind,
Real and present and authentic,
No adjustments or inner struggle.

What would you say?
Would you walk away?
Get red in the face?
Say "Get out of this place?"
Question my right?
Start a fight?

What if I answered honest and true,
Yes, no, or I'm not sure what to do?
No waffling, no worrying, no going along,
No attempt at harmonizing with your song,
Nor being contrary to assert my power,
No one likes conflict, but even positivity can be sour.

Can I just know
From the depths of my soul,
That a voice is inside me
And I can let go?
It's unsure, insecure, 
Unfamiliar, untested,
But also eager to be heard.

My voice has a right to be heard!

I discovered this poem and others while going through a folder in my basement last weekend.  It had no date, so I'm unsure where I was in my journey.  But I remember who I wrote this about and exactly how I felt.  I remember feeling helpless and hopeless with this person at times.  I chose not to make any adjustments to this poem, but let it stand as it was expressed back then.  At the same time, I'm able to appreciate just how far I've come.