The Journey Inward

I am someone who seeks peace and ease
and reminds myself frequently
that no one can steal my peace
without my permission.

Most days that is effective,
and I let go of what's not mine to carry.
Most days I can remain in equilibrium
by using my wise mind.

When a feeling hits me hard,
I let it, without resisting.
It's amazing how fast it comes and goes
when I listen to and acknowledge it.

"Peace and ease," I will whisper to myself,
as I walk down the street.
"Peace and ease," I will whisper to myself,
as I close my eyes at night.

These past two weeks have been a test
of my personal broadcasting system!
My school district is financially challenged,
with catastrophic results.

The news is worse with each passing day,
with more layoffs announced, 
more positions eliminated,
more programs cancelled.

As a union leader in my school,
I know more than I want to
about the impact that is still to come
and the devastating consequences.

I sit in on layoff meetings with teachers,
and so far our district has dismissed 42 teachers.
My colleague and I hold breakfasts 
to help with job searches and resume writing.

Teachers come to us daily,
administration comes to us daily,
and our hearts break.
We are tired and sad and hurting.

Both of our positions have been eliminated next year,
but we can barely process that amidst the chaos.
We both will have jobs, but we don't know where,
or what.  There is much we don't know.

Life comes on Life's term,
as my therapist likes to say,
and I accept that.
And have learned to live with that.

Peace and ease is a bit harder to come by these days,
and there is no let up in the near future,
yet it has not stopped me from finding joy,
from laughing hard, from connecting.

2025 has been a year where I've learned to live
with a very loose definition of "good" and "okay,"
as I watch this country change at an alarming rate,
and I seek balance between activism and rest.

Challenging times challenge us,
and require a higher level of skill and determination
to capture and hold peace and ease 
when and where we can.

It's here with me right now,
as I arrive home from a 3 hour Board meeting 
where I spoke on behalf of my intervention department,
laying out the important work we do with our students...

and the speech I gave at the end of the meeting,
tearfully asking the Board to consider that they don't know 
the WHY of the voters, and urging them to take advantage 
of every possible funding avenue for our kids.

It's here with me right now,
as I sit at my desk with a cup of tea and write,
my fingers creating, my shoulders relaxing,
purging the anxiety from my body and mind with words. 

Peace and ease comes to me now,
as I put my thoughts down and leave them here,
satisfied that I did all I could today at school,
and all I could tonight at that meeting.

It's time to recharge,
to shower and slide into fresh sheets,
to wear fancy pajamas for no reason,
and allow my body and mind to rest.

Peace and ease are always within my grasp,
but sometimes I need to be extra mindful.
I find it by myself, I find it with my people,
I find it with my dogs.  Peace and ease.

Photo:  My Happy Place:  St. Cyrus, Scotland.  7.1.24 by LA