The Journey Inward

I’ve taken a break from my blog writing for the last two months, for both delightful and devastating reasons. Home from South Africa for 6 weeks from mid-June to late July, I traveled to see each of my girls in their West and East Coast locales for 11 days apiece, days that were jampacked with adventure and togetherness. I spent a week back in New Jersey visiting with my friends. When it was time to return to Pretoria, I brought back three of my good friends and we traveled for two weeks. That was the delightful part, and was too chockful to stay on top of in writing.

The heartbreak came two and a half weeks ago, when I got a call from my daughter that turned our worlds upside down. At her monthly appointment, the obstetrician was not able to find a heartbeat. Well into her second trimester, this was a devastating blow; the pregnancy had been healthy and uneventful to that point. I got on the next plane and flew 22 hours over 42 hours to be by her side as she gave birth to her daughter. We spent the next week together quietly, absorbing and processing the shock and disappointment and grief that settled over us. Out of respect for my daughter’s privacy, I will not write about the experience here, but I am going to get back to posting. The lens just looks a little different these days.